Alternative To Nursing Home Care

My wife and I took my grandmother into our home after she was placed in a nursing home due to the fact that she was suffering from the beginning stages of dementia and could no longer safely function on her own. However, my 90 year-old grandmother, who had lived all her life in the home she grew up in, had plans of her own for her future, and they did not include a nursing home. When my wife visited with grandma, grandma shared her distress at living in an institutional setting, with the end result being that she joined our sometimes chaotic household that included two busy, working parents, three very active boys, a dog, and a cat. Little did we know what a blessing it would be for our family to have this woman living with us for the final two years of her life.

During the day, we wondered what we could do to keep her busy and also to keep her safe. We found out about The Friendship House in Alexandria, Louisiana. This is an adult daycare center for the elderly. The Friendship House truly made it possible for grandma to live with us, yet have appropriate care while we were working. We would drop her off after the smallest child had been delivered to daycare, and then we would pick her up as soon as we collected the last child in the afternoon. The Friendship House had activities designed for people like her. She could paint, bowl, sing, watch TV, knit, and they even had a walking track. She really enjoyed the time she spent with her contemporaries during the day, and she looked forward to going home with her family in the afternoons.

She was very active and spritely for a 90 year-old. We took her on vacations and camping; we took her shopping and to the beauty shop; we took her to the lake and to church. She always dressed up and everyone loved talking with her. She was interested in everyone.

Besides giving the children a chance to know their great grandmother, having her in our home taught our children so many things. We had three generations living under one roof at the same time, and it gave our children a chance to see and hear about a different kind of life. This woman who was born at the beginning of the century was a history lesson in the flesh. She entertained them with stories of her early life, explaining how people lived and worked and played in a different era. And while we as working parents were sometimes too busy to hear about the kids’ daily adventures, grandma was always an available and willing listener.

But she also taught them something else, something more intrinsic and important. She taught them gentleness and complete acceptance. She taught them the joy of having someone’s complete attention. And by loving them so wholeheartedly and unselfishly, she taught them how to willingly, even eagerly, make sacrifices to accommodate her frailties. And finally, her passing taught them about letting go and looking forward to a heavenly reunion. Having her in our home blessed us far more than it did her.

Sometimes there is an alternative to nursing home care, and I encourage anyone to look into it as the reward can substantially outweigh any inconvenience to the household.